Having people tell you about their dreams is annoying. What seems "so weird" to them seems boring to everyone else. Sometimes they even ask, "What do you think that means?" And generally you want to answer, "I think it means you should shut up now." (Or maybe, "I think it means you're gay/straight," whichever fucks with them more.) That said, allow me to share with you the greatest "dry" dream I have ever had.
THE DREAM
So I'm working in this seedy, dusty video store with old hardwood floors and high ceilings. I'm chatting with the fellow employees when a woman who looks like a slightly older, bigger Whoopi Goldberg comes in and heads straight to the adult section. She points to a title on a high shelf -- one that I had noticed earlier in the dream and wanted to see myself -- and asks if I can get it down for her. The film is called Gretchen of Rosenstrasse, and the cover features this incredibly attractive, naked young woman with enormous breasts. She's tied up, smiling wryly, hanging on a wall, and covered in splattered paint. From what I can tell, it's an early-1970s soft-core porn film about the erotic (mis)adventures of a European girl who falls in with a bunch of Fluxus-type artists and such. She's hanging on the wall, for example, because she is the artwork in one of their avant-garde shows. And did I mention that Gretchen had huge boobs? Anyway, at the cash register I say to Whoopi, "You have to let me know how this is!" That's it. The alarm went off and I got up.
THE AFTERMATH
In addition to being the funniest (not to mention the most linear) dream I have ever had, it's also one of the few that I actually remember later. It still seems vivid. What I want to know is this: Is this like a Field of Dreams moment? Am I supposed to make a semi-parodic, Euro-steez soft-core porn movie called Gretchen of Rosenstrasse? I can hear the soft-core porn spirits whispering now. "If you make it, they will (pardon the pun) come." I googled the title and checked IMDB, but only got a 2003 film called Rosenstrasse. That film tells the story of a little-known anti-Nazi protest in 1943 Berlin, wherein the Aryan wives of imprisoned Jewish men kept vigil outside their holding facility on Rosenstrasse, a tiny street near Alexanderplatz. That's not really the same vibe, so I dismissed any connection. Besides, as far as I know, I'd never heard of the street or the film.
So what to do? Forget it? Make the movie? Whaddya think? Anyone want to be in a movie about the erotic (mis)adventures of a naive, clever, experimental, and well-endowed young woman as she explores the European avant-garde of the 1960s and 70s? More importantly, anyone want to pay for it? I'm down for whatevs, so just let me know. 1970s European soft-core is so hott right now.
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